Evil Dead 2 (1987)

Director: Sam Raimi

It's like an alternative situation to the first one, and again, gay. Minus the last 15 minutes, where it actually starts making a smidgen of sense. At least this time Bruce Campbell wasn't a pussy,
but they overcompensated by making him a slight bit crazy entirely too early in the movie. I don't care what anyone says; these kinds of movies HAVE TO HAVE RULES. How do you get possessed, how do you protect yourself, etc. His hand, and only his hand gets possessed. What the hell? What is up with him chopping off his girlfriend's head without even knowing what is going on? And I would have listened to that damn recording from the beginning, and read the papers first instead of fooling around. If you are going to watch it, skip the first one, it's a waste of your time. Now I have to see Army of Darkness, because it seems it might actually be worth seeing.


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Diary of the Dead (2007)

Director: George A. Romero

This movie starts out with some college-aged kids doing their own horror movie in the woods when they hear about a zombie break out. They make their way to their rich friend's house/fortress, all the while this kid is filming everything. Its got some pretty funny parts, but you are waiting for a climax, something really exciting to happen, but it never does. It was okay.

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Masters of Horror: Dance of the Dead (2005)

Director: Tobe Hooper

Set in the post apocalyptic world, some punk grabs the attention of a sheltered girl working at a diner, and against the will of her mother, goes with him and his friends to the "real world," full of depravity and danger, weird drugs and sick fetishes; in the center of this city is a club called Doom Room, where they reanimate zombie corpses to dance as entertainment (Freddy Krueger actor is the host). To her own shock and horror, someone she knows is one of the zombies used as a puppet for fun and games. After that, the story unravels into some pretty crazy stuff. The acting was pretty bad, but it was an interesting episode, and probably one of my favorite MoH's. After so many movies focusing on the attack, it is cool to see life after. It is a must see.

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The Evil Dead (1981)

Director: Sam Raimi

Okay, so I understand that this movie has a cult following and staunch fans, but all I gotta say is, gay. For its time, yeah, maybe it was a cool movie, but I didn't watch it in 1981, I watched it in 2008, and it was gay. They go to a remote place to stay in a cabin they got for a really cheap price, shit starts happening, and they turn into crazy possessed people, much like those from The Exorcist. How do they get possessed? You tell me. The woods? The woods rapes a girl? Sorry, you aren't convincing me of anything. The characters were pathetic, the graphics archaic, and it was overall just drawn out and boring. Please, I don't care if it is a "classic," there are plenty of other things more entertaining; maybe clipping my toenails. But if you wanna see for yourself, go right ahead. Hopefully the 2nd one is better.


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Masters of Horror: The Fair-haired Child (2006)

Director: William Malone



It's got the little sister from A League of their Own. Their son dies, and they make a deal with the devil: kill 12 kids and he will be brought back from the dead. It is a risk they are willing to take, to their own demise. The "monster" in the movie is kind of lame, and the acting is lacking. But when do we really find a horror movie any different? It was whatever.

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28 days Later (2002)

Director: Danny Boyle

A guy wakes up after 28 days, realizes the world has been shattered by a crazy infection, meets survivors and they make the journey to stay alive. While it may sound like the same plot as any other zombie movie, its got real substance. It's got reality: you get infected, I will kill you; its got drama: horny, lonely soldiers and family separation; and its got my favorite, which is uncommon for horror movies: let's just say, not everyone dies at the end. Good acting and some great action. Not everything is dumbed down; there are interesting social implications in the movie.


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Masters of Horror: Haeckel's Tale (2006)

Director: John McNaughton

Like I said before, this Showtime horror series is more for sheer entertainment than real movie genius.
This one is about some guy back in the day wanting to raise the dead by science, and rejects the mystical, dead-raising necromancers. He stays at an old man's house for some shelter, and comes to discover that he has a beautiful, young wife. As the night draws on, he comes to find out that she has a dead first husband, who is the only one who could ever please her, an old, alive husband that will do anything to keep her happy, and a necromancer who just wants their money. You figure out the rest.
It was kinda weird and creepy, and to be honest, I don't think I can judge it any further. It was different, which can be refreshing. Did I like it? ehhh. Will you? Maybe. It's only an hour long.



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Day of the Dead (2008)

Director: Steve Miner














Alright, this movie's got Mena Suvari, and Ving Rhames, which you might think, "hmm, might be good." It also has Nick Cannon, which then makes you think "Uh, I don't know..." It's a remake of George Romero's movie, and it got horrible ratings. But as horror movie enthusiasts, do we always hate what critics hate? No. I can't say the main plot is any different from any other zombie movie; virus breaks out, people are getting infected, people got to fight to survive. It has got a few cheesy parts in it, but I will tell you right now, it has got some of the coolest fight scenes that I have seen in zombie movies, which that fact alone warrants it a movie worth watching. Nick Cannon's performance is not half bad, and the characters are entertaining. A criticism I have for it though is how the zombie's are: they are incredibly fast and semi-intelligent, and can climb on walls and ceilings. If a real virus were to break out and cause infections resulting in zombie-like people, who knows what they would really be like. But as I think of how I would survive in a situation like that, I hope to god that they won't be super fast and climbing all over the place.

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Masters of Horror: Jenifer (2006)

Director: Dario Argento



So we have recently gotten into the Showtime's series "Masters of Horror," that allows different, usually well-known directors do whatever they want to make a 1 hour story. While I wouldn't say most of them are that great, they definitely can be very interesting, as with this story. Its about a cop that discovers this girl with a crazy messed-up face about to be murdered by some guy, and saves her and takes her in. She is obviously not civilized, and her actions justify this assumption. Strangely, her pathetic-ness paves a way into his heart, and he does everything he can to take care of her, which includes some pretty messed up stuff. She is smarter than you may initially think, and the story takes some pretty crazy turns. It is a story full of depravity and "what the hells," but if you want something to give you flashes in your head long after you watch it, then this is something that you will enjoy. My opinion: it was sick, but oddly, I liked it. Oh yeah, it's got the guy from the show Wings in it.

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The Last Man on Earth (1964)

Director: Ray Milland

I don't care if this movie was supposedly the inspiration for Night of the Living Dead, and I don't care that this movie was made in the 60's, it was extremely boring and drawn out with noooo action. Obviously, it's about a virus that sweeps the world, and this man thinks he is the only man left. The virus turns people into what I feel is a mix between a zombie and a vampire. Death count is a few, but the zombie-vampires are completely pathetic, and everything the man does in the movie, I would have done differently. You have to admire it a little, though, considering the man is at least giving his dismal life some purpose, and that he actually addresses the fact that the zombie-vampires are pathetic, but overall the movie was a lame attempt to entertain people.

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Panic in The Year Zero (1962)

Director: Ray Milland

We watched this as a double feature with "Last Man on Earth," which was not nearly as good as this movie.
This movie is about a nuclear attack hitting the world, and a family's attempt to survive in the chaos that is the world after the attacks. As a feminist, I am not a big fan of old movies just because they portray woman as stupid, silly little things that only get in the way. However, I was willing to look past that because of the pure genius of the father in the film. Finally, someone in these kinds of movies stops being an idiot and does everything they need to to survive. Everything this man did in the movie was well thought out and spared the bickering and denial that is usually present in survival movies. I highly recommend this movie, as it is a relief from the "what the hell are you thinking" type of movies.

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